What is an energy vampire, and how can you protect yourself from one?
An energy vampire is someone who uses fear-based or negative emotions to try to gain access to your personal energy field, and drain it.
Emotions typically used by energy vampires include guilt, embarrassment, resentment, anger, self-deprecation, and shame.
Interestingly, the term energy vampire is also used to describe electric appliances that are plugged in but not being used, or in standby mode. These appliances are consuming electric power continuously in the background – even when we’re not actively using them.
In a similar way, people who are energy vampires consume other people’s energy. If we have inadequate or overly permeable boundaries, energy vampires can consume our energy without our permission.
Pay Attention to Your Feelings and Sensations
You’ll know when you’re around an energy vampire because you will feel ill, angry, drained, confused, irritated, and/or sad. You might also take on their emotions – such as guilt – which they will try to project onto you.
You might go from being happy and content to feeling physically unwell if you’re around an energy vampire who really triggers or manipulates you.
Of course, it can be very easy to resent or even hate people in our lives who behave like energy vampires. But it’s important to have some compassion for them. At their core, they’re looking for love and acceptance, as we all are. They just haven’t learned how to do so in a healthy way.
Often, energy vampires haven’t learned how to cope with their own issues or take responsibility for their behavior. What it really comes down to is that they are in pain. Sometimes unbearable pain.
So while you don’t have to invite them into your life or home, or accept their behavior, you can work on developing some empathy for them – even if from a distance.
The key point is to pay attention to how you feel around people. Ask yourself: What emotions and physical sensations do I experience when I’m around each person in my life?
This will give you some good clues about any potential energy vampires you might be dealing with.
Common Types of Energy Vampires
1- The Martyr or Victim: victims/martyrs always see themselves as being attacked by others. They can’t someone take responsibility for their role in conflicts. This type of energy vampire will try to prey off your guilt. They might lash out at you and blame you for all of their problems one day, but the next day they’re breaking down and telling you how much they need you. Typically, victims/martyrs suffer from very low self-esteem and a lack of self-awareness.
2- The Narcissist: this type of energy vampire is incapable of empathy and can’t relate to other people. They always come first, they’re the best at everything, they always have the answer, and they can’t admit any flaws or wrongdoing. Narcissistic vampires tend to be charming and manipulative (especially at first), often employing a seduce-then-abuse cycle of behavior.
3- Drama Queen/King: these vampires thrive on drama and creating drama. They seem to always have something going wrong or to be in the middle of a crisis (often self-induced). This type of energy vampire feeds off low-frequency emotions like anger, fear, resentment, and confusion. They’d much rather live in chaos than deal with life in a proactive, calm way. This makes it difficult for them to sustain healthy relationships, because their own chaotic lives and issues are always the priority.
4- The Judge/Perpetual Critic: judges love to pick on others and prey on your insecurities. This is because, like martyrs/victims, they have really low self-esteem. The judgmental way in which they treat you is a reflection of how they treat themselves. Whatever hurtful comment or criticism they make about you, your life, your appearance, your job – it’s all just a mirror of their own internal dialogue. So it’s important not to take anything that judges say personally (easier said than done, sometimes!). If you have a judge energy vampire in your life who’s unwilling or unable to change, cut any energetic cords between you and reduce contact as much as possible.
Signs You’ve Been Drained by an Energy Vampire
Here are some common signs and symptoms of having been drained. These can show up after you’ve spent time with an energy vampire… or even during your interactions.
With a very strong energy vampire, you might start to feel these symptoms a few days or hours before you even spend time with them.
Here’s the list:
- feeling down/angry/sad for no apparent reason
- suddenly feeling really tired or sick
- having odd thoughts that don’t sound like your thoughts
- suddenly feeling defensive and as though you have to justify yourself
- strange aches and pains
- suddenly feeling cold
- craving sugar, caffeine, or carbs (as your body tries to restore the energy it has lost)
- bad dreams or lingering malaise
And here are some self-defense techniques to protect yourself and your energy:
Surrounding yourself in a bubble of white light for protection and strength is a basic strategy that you can use every day. I suggest two ways of doing this:
- While standing in the shower (or visualizing a shower), see/feel the water turning into light and clearing away any unwanted energy.
- Visualize your Spirit Guides hovering above you and encircling you in pure white light.
After you’ve surrounded yourself in white light, you can mentally place a shield around yourself to repel negativity, stress, fear, and other lower-frequency emotions.
You can use different colors to layer shields for specific purposes:
- White Shield: good for protection against physical attack; helps you stay connected to your Guides.
- Pink Shield: protects against negativity; only love can penetrate a pink shield.
- Green Shield: used for physical healing whenever you are ill or experiencing physical symptoms.
- Purple Shield: psychic protection; shields against psychic attack and negative entities.
- Gold Shield: promotes light, happy, positive energy and will transform any negative energy in the room before it can reach you.
- Lead Shield: extra protection for when you anticipate going into a difficult situation. Nothing can penetrate the lead shield. (Personal suggestion: I typically use a lead shield as the final layer after encircling myself in white light and a gold shield, in that order.)
Crossing your arms and/or legs can be very protective. These body positions work to close off the human energy circuits and to protect your chakras, depending on where your arms are crossed.
You can use this strategy if you’re caught off guard by someone with negative energy or someone who’s trying to drain you. Just sit down (or stand) as calmly as possible and cross your arms. This will help deflect some of the negative energy so you won’t absorb as much.
Mentally place mirrors all around yourself, with their reflective surface pointing outwards. This ensures that anything that’s projected at you will simply be “returned to sender.”
You can layer a white shield (or any color shield) with mirrors.
Carry a black tourmaline or hematite to repel negativity and keep your personal energy safe and grounded.
Boundaries & Doing the Best Thing for Yourself
In addition to these physical and spiritual techniques, it’s important to establish firmer boundaries when dealing with an energy vampire.
If you’re dealing with an energy vampire who is unwilling or unable to get help and change their behavior, you might need to limit your contact or avoid them altogether.
This can be very challenging – and emotionally painful – if the energy vampire is your mother, father, sibling, or someone very close to you.
No one has the automatic right to be welcomed into your life.
If someone is harming you, draining you, or interfering with your sanity and well-being, you might need to make some difficult choices. Please don’t feel guilty or selfish about this.
You deserve peace, happiness, abundance, and a life full of uplifting and self-aware people!