Becoming a sovereign being means taking your power back.
It means taking ownership of your life, no longer blaming others, and releasing any patterns of self-judgment or self-criticism.
It also means taking charge of your spiritual connection and claiming your inner authority.
I’ve written about the concept of sovereignty before because we’re in a cosmic moment that requires us to take responsibility for ourselves. We can’t bypass our shadows, escape reality, numb ourselves, pretend everything’s ok when it’s not, or put our heads in the sand anymore.
So I’m laying out a guide of 7 keys to become a fully sovereign being, both on a spiritual and personal level. I hope this will help you examine the places in your life where you’ve given your power away, so you can take it back.
These 7 keys are about becoming the highest-level, most Divine, most aligned, and most powerful version of yourself in this lifetime.
Let’s dive in.
Key 1: Be only yourself.
This might sound simplistic or obvious, but it’s really not.
Being only yourself means not trying to be anyone else. Not living life according to anyone else’s rules, expectations, or demands. Not twisting yourself up to fit others’ expectations of you.
Not making yourself smaller to avoid upsetting, scaring, or intimidating others with your brilliance.
It might be challenging to practice this principle in your life if you’ve had a pattern of being a chameleon — changing and adapting yourself to meet others’ needs based on each situation.
Being only yourself means being yourself in ALL situations, with ALL people. (Instead of having a separate persona for each situation or interaction.)
Of course, you will still use discernment to decide how much of yourself you share with others out in the world. Being only yourself doesn’t mean having no consideration for others. You don’t have to be outrageous or “tell it like it is” no matter who gets hurt in the process.
Being only yourself is about honoring all parts of you and allowing them the space to exist. It also means stripping away anything artificial or inauthentic from your life and how you are in the world.
Key 2: Take ownership of your shadows.
A truly sovereign being is wise, introspective, and willing to do the work of sifting through internal shadows and prejudices.
Being sovereign means you must take ownership of the places within you that are biased, confused, dramatic, chaotic, manipulative, deceptive, addictive, or whatever else.
This means taking the time to examine your inner patterns. To investigate what triggers you, and why. To notice your own behavior and take responsibility for it.
This includes taking responsibility even for a shadow aspect that doesn’t want you to take responsibility. Or a shadow aspect that would prefer to blame others (or the world) for whatever isn’t working in your life.
It also means doing the necessary healing work to shift your relationship to your own dysfunctional patterns. And doing the work to release baggage. The less baggage you carry, the less you will lash out against others, see yourself as a victim, or allow past experiences to color your behavior today.
Key 3: Release the past.
Being obsessed with the past robs you of present happiness and peace.
Dwelling on past trauma without doing the work to move through it (including self-care and asking for help) will keep you stuck in a loop of suffering.
Your body, mind, and heart re-live that trauma whenever you dwell on a memory of the past. Or whenever you hold intense anger, resentment, or hatred towards someone from your past.
You don’t necessarily have to forgive anyone. You don’t have to forget what happened. This isn’t about condoning what happened or being happy about it.
It’s important to grieve whatever you lost in the past — whether that was a sense of innocence, a sense of feeling safe in the world, an important relationship, a job or career, or even someone you loved dearly.
It’s also important to shift your attention, as much as you can, to the present moment. What can you reclaim from the past, if anything? Was there anything good you can hold on to? And what can you create now, from this moment and moving forward?
Key 4: Look for help & support when needed, but don’t put others on a pedestal.
In the spiritual community, there’s sometimes a tendency to put teachers and “gurus” on a pedestal. Sometimes teachers and gurus will contribute to this themselves, which is an entirely different issue. (On my podcast, I’ve talked about gatekeeping and ego in the spiritual community.)
I’m a firm believer in learning from others and seeking help when needed. I’ve worked with teachers, mentors, and healers all of my life. I’m a better person, healer, and teacher myself because of that.
I’ve also learned how to tell when a teacher or healer is acting out of ego or trying to manipulate others.
This is an important skill — being able to tell when someone is feeding into (or triggering) any of your patterns of inadequacy, co-dependence, feeling inferior, or giving your power away.
Being sovereign means being independent, self-sufficient, and able to trust in your own inner guidance. It also means remembering that you have a direct connection to Divine Source yourself, a connection that can always be strengthened.
In ALL circumstances and with ALL people, refuse to give your power away. Don’t idealize others or put anyone on a pedestal.
Key 5: Protect your sacred spaces.
As a sovereign being, you must protect your sacred spaces — both within and without.
This means, first of all, protecting the sacred space of your body. Your body is a home for your soul and the vehicle through which you’re experiencing your current lifetime.
You must help your body feel safe and strong. Reassure your body that it’s safe with you — that you will advocate for it, listen to its needs, and respond accordingly.
If you’ve had a pattern of ignoring or suppressing your body’s needs and limits in the past, now is the time to heal that pattern. Make sure to tune in to your body at least once a day (ideally more) and give it the nourishment it needs.
This includes eating foods that fuel your body (and don’t hurt it), drinking clean water, creating moments of silence and grounding throughout your day, and listening to your body’s cues when it needs rest.
You must also protect your physical spaces. Your home must be a sanctuary and a place where you can be fully yourself (refer back to key #1 above).
Protecting your physical spaces means clearing out clutter, getting rid of stuff that triggers negative memories or thoughts, and being extremely conscious about who — and what kind of energy — you allow into your spaces. (This includes the spaces where you hang out online, too!)
Key 6: Increase your connection to something bigger than yourself.
You’re currently having a human experience in a human body. However, at the same time, you’re also an infinite spiritual being.
Sometimes we can forget that we’re part of something much bigger than ourselves. We are all part of Divine Source energy, which we might also call Creator/Creatix energy.
Remembering that you have a soul — and that your soul needs particular kinds of nourishment and care — is a really important part of becoming sovereign.
A true sovereign being doesn’t exclude spirituality from daily living OR use spirituality to bypass or escape reality.
A true sovereign being can integrate material reality and human life with spirituality and spiritual ideals. The two must be harmonized together.
Increasing your connection to something bigger than yourself requires work. It’s a daily practice to look UP from the ground — from the reality you inhabit as a human — and gaze at the heavens. This helps you remember who you really are, why you’re here, and what your role is in a cosmic sense.
Spend time every day meditating, journaling, going within, clearing your energy field, or doing whatever is needed to connect to Divine Source.
Key 7: Work through patterns of people-pleasing and approval addiction.
Being sovereign sometimes requires you to disappoint others. In being fully and authentically yourself, you will sometimes do or say things that other people in your life will disagree with. You have to be ok with this.
Notice within yourself if you’ve carried a pattern of people-pleasing or seeking approval from others. Have you based your entire identity or self-worth on what others say about you (whether good or bad)?
A true sovereign being has an internal source of self-worth and confidence. But it’s impossible to develop these qualities from within if you’re relying on others’ reactions to feel good (or bad) about yourself.
Consider these self-reflective questions: Where and when did you learn to people-please? How has this pattern served you until now? How has it kept you safe? How has it limited you? How can you release it now and allow yourself to disappoint others?
And, maybe the most important question: how can you give yourself unconditional approval so that others’ opinions don’t matter so much?
With love, and to you fully claiming your sovereignty,