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You’re not here to fix anyone

The Weekly Seeker #25

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Do you ever wish someone in your life was “more healed” (or more awake) than they currently are?

This could apply to your partner, a friend, a sibling, one of your parents (or both of them!), or even a grown child.

It could also apply to a client, if you’re working with clients in a healing or spiritual capacity.

Sometimes we feel so tempted to try to “fix” others.

Our loving hearts and empathic qualities make us want to swoop in and rescue others, or relieve their suffering, or even carry their suffering for them.

But the thing is –

You’re not here to “fix” anyone.

You can’t fix anyone – for multiple reasons.

One, it’s impossible to force someone else to change, wake up, do their healing work, or take ownership of their life. (Especially if they’re not in a place where they can or WANT to do that.)

Two, there’s nothing to fix in the first place, because no one is “broken.”

You are not broken, and neither is anyone else.

As healers and empathic beings, we must remember the important truth that EVERYONE is experiencing and creating in their lives what they need to experience so they can learn and evolve to their next level.

If we try to interfere with this process of growth by jumping in to “rescue” others, we’re actually infantilizing them, hindering them, and casting a shadow of doubt on their capacity to heal, to overcome their own challenges, to learn what they need to learn, and to make their own choices.

Here’s a (somewhat) controversial take:

Our culture is heavily invested in the idea of victimhood, and in turning people into victims.

Into making us believe we are victims, and that we don’t have as much power or strength as we actually do.

This further fuels our reactive impulse to try to fix, rescue, or save other people… and to feel that we ourselves must be saved or fixed by someone/something outside of us.

Of course, it’s important to lend a hand where we can, and wherever we are most needed.

Many of us are here to be of service, to assist other humans in their process of evolution, and to anchor light into this planet.

But we must remember that people are often where they’re meant to be, according to a higher-order Divine Plan. A Plan set forth by each person’s Higher Self.

Sometimes – as you know from personal experience – this Divine Plan includes facing challenges, or walking through life-changing situations, or experiencing loss, or finding a way to re-invent your life after a spiritual awakening.

All of these events in our lives – especially the uncomfortable ones – are shaping us in profound, meaningful ways. The same is true for everyone else.

So, who are we to interfere with someone else’s Divine Plan?

When we rush to try to fix, to rescue, to smooth things out for someone, to take responsibility for them… we’re disempowering them and hindering their growth.

A wiser, healthier, more consciously loving thing we can do is to offer encouragement, to be a sounding board, to offer our unconditional presence and belief in someone… WITHOUT trying to fix them.

This will empower them – and you! – to blossom.

Sending all my love,

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2 thoughts on “You’re not here to fix anyone”

  1. This really spoke to me. Your site keeps calling me back. Thank you for gifting these messages to all. I needed to read this.
    Best to you Josephine.

    1. Josephine Hardman

      Hi Ali,
      Amazing! I’m thrilled to hear this message landed with you at the right time. Thank you for reading and for being here : )

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